Voldy meets his Death Angel
by ChAOtiC ReApEr
Summary: this is my funny take of what would have happened when Voldemort died and went to see his Death Angel.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter J.K Rowling does.**

**Thanks goes to MariusDarkwolf who edited this story.**

Shock flew through him as he saw his killing curse rebound of that damn disarming curse and turn towards him. Fear coursed through him as he saw the green light fly towards him and he realized that he was actually going to die. Nothing, he felt nothing when the green light of the killing curse hit him in the chest, he closed his eyes and darkness over took him. Happiness and glee that was what the people of the wizarding world felt as they saw his body crumble to the floor.

Peace and relief these feelings swept through his body. Tom Marvelo Riddle was dead, he had his eyes closed not wanting to see where he was and wanting this feelings to last forever. After a while he finally opened his eyes to see where he was. He found that he was in a waiting room, he was sitting on one of the chairs lining the wall, there was a table in the center with magazines covering it. The walls were a pale cream color with a few windows around bringing light into the room and finally there was a lady sitting at a desk at the other end of the office. Riddle looked around the office to see if anyone else was there, and he did a double take when he saw Albus Dumbledore. Dumbledore was sitting there calmly reading a magazine about gardening as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

Dumbledore peered up at him from his magazine and said "Ahh Tom how good of you to join me."

"What the hell is this place Dumbledore?" sneered Tom.

"I believe that it is the afterlife. Why don't you read a magazine Tom, I have been waiting for some time."

Voldemort just sat back and folded his arms and pouted. He had begun to hate this place; he especially hated being here with Dumbledore. So to take his mind of the boredom he grabbed a magazine about serial killers and began to read.

He was so engrossed in the magazine that he did not realized that time had flown by and that someone was calling him.

"Tom Marvelo Riddle!" the voice called again

Disgruntled he pulled his eyes away from the center fold which showed a mug shot of one of the most dangerous woman in the world and looked up to see who dared to disturb him. He saw that the woman who was sitting at the desk was the one calling him and she did so again in a rather annoying nasal voice.

"Tom Marvelo Riddle, would Mr. Tom Marvelo Riddle please step through the door to see your death angel."

Marking his page Tom got up and walked towards the door, as he walked he noticed that Dumbledore was missing from the room and figured that he must have been called before him. He stood in front of the rather plain wooden door and arrogantly opened the door with a bang and strutted into the room.

"What the hell are you doing smashing open my door like that. Who the hell do you think you are?"

Tom stood stock still in shock, who would dare speak to him like that. He looked ahead and saw that there was a rather plump woman with red hair standing behind a large desk, red in the face and with a rather angry look on her face. He also saw that Dumbledore was sitting in one of the chairs facing the woman.

Arrogantly he said to the woman "I am Lord Voldemort. Who the hell are you? How dare you speak to me like this?"

This was supposedly the wrong things to say as the woman seemed to grow larger and her face became even redder.

"You dickless piece of shit, sit the fuck down before I send you straight to hell."

For the first time in his adult life Lord Voldemort was thankful that he did not have a dick, otherwise he would have pissed himself right there. He quickly ran forwards and sat in the chair next to Dumbledore who was busy giggling into his hands. The woman though was now busy pacing about behind the desk muttering things to herself "Don't know why I had to be stuck with these two pricks. Could have had some one nice and peaceful like Potter or Granger but noooo I had to be stuck with the two retards."

She then stopped pacing about and sat down on her chair. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath calming herself down. She then looked at the two men in front of her and shook her head wondering again why on earth she had to get these two men.

Then Albus had to go and spoil it all by commenting "You know you look a lot like Molly Weasley."

This of course made her angry again and she shouted at him "Of course I know that you senile old fool. It was all because of that smart-arse over in the life department, just because I wouldn't date him, he caused me a whole lot of misery by making a dumb bitch of a human look like me."

Voldemort smacked Dumbledore on the back of his head for making her angry again and sat back down quietly. The woman then calmed herself down again and began speaking to them in a rather calm voice "Ok you two idiots. My name is Rose and I am your death angel. Now that both of you are dead we have to see whether you go to heaven or hell."

Dumbledore then spoke up in his grandfatherly tone "I believe that I deserve to go to heaven. I have done a lot of good in this world for the greater good."

Rose snorted at what he had said and then said to him "You stupid fool. What you did for the greater good was all just rubbish. Because of you millions of people suffered and died. You have manipulated too many people for your own good so you what I think you will go to hell."

Dumbledore's face fell at what she had said while Voldemort just sniggered beside him but alas for him, his sniggering brought him to the attention of Rose.

"Oh shut up you. You are even worse, well actually you are the same as him but there is one thing that is worse about you, it is that you don't have a penis, you actually chopped off your manhood along with all your dignity and pride just for some power boost. Just because you did that I think that you will also go to hell."

With that Voldemort sobered down and pouted at her and it was Dumbledore's turn to snigger uncontrollably. Rose then spoke to Albus "You should know Albus; your plan for Harry Potter to marry that stupid red head bint just got swept down the drain. It seemed that he had finally taken his head out of his arse and confessed his true feelings to Miss. Granger. They are now totally in love and plan on getting married soon."

With that Dumbledore sat back, folded his arms and began pouting. Rose then smirked at them, scaring the crap out of the two men.

"You see boy's, both of you are going to hell but there are a few people I promised that they could meet you before you go. So here they are."

With that said she got up from her seat and waved her hand towards one of the walls. It slid open to reveal a group of people standing there. She then walked past Albus and Voldemort and stepped out of the room but before leaving she stuck her head into the room and said "Have fun."

Albus and Voldemort looked closely at the group of people and paled and trembled in fear at who they saw. There standing in the front of the group was Lily Potter holding a cricket bat in her hand staring at them menacingly, beside her was James Potter who was cracking his knuckles and staring at them in anger and beside him was Sirius Black who oddly enough was slapping a very large purple dido in his hand.

Albus looked at Voldemort and both men knew instantly that they were in deep shit now.

**Please R&R and thank you for reading.**


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